Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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