Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
