omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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