I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
