my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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