I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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