wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
