dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
