"it" just moved
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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