it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
