you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
this is an emotional support booty call
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
