I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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