no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
