Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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