Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways

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(260): View more from Indiana

Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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(312): View more from Illinois

His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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(973): View more from New Jersey

thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies

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(801): View more from Utah

I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF

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