Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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