you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this will be a night to untag.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
