If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
