If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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