Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
