I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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