Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
40s are totally the cure
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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