i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
