Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
