I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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