Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
