My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
