around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Farmville is her only friend.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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