Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
