WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
