You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize