i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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