I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
