Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
