I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
