it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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