mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she told me i tasted like america
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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