Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize