you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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