I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
