you guys were way drunker than both of me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
