I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
