we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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