Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize