I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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