Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize