So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
