I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
did i walk over a car last night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
