see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize