you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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