haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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