god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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