the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
