girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
