i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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