my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
