bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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