Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
