genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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