we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He passed out mid-signature
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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