wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
