I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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