Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
