Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
