I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
