my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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