Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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