one might say we're banned from that church
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize