We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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