So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
