omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
