I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My feet surprised me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
